I Hired a Sleep Coach—4 Mistakes I Was Making

I have tried chamomile tea and sleep aids, but I still struggle to get six restless hours. That’s why I decided to hire a personal sleep coach to examine my lifestyle habits and home environment to create a personalized sleep plan.

Note that there are also many medical reasons for poor sleep, such as sleep apnea or delayed sleep phase syndrome, so it’s a good idea to consult with your healthcare provider to rule out an underlying health condition that could be affecting your sleep.

1. Prepare for a home visit.

My sleep coach, Ingrid Prueher, earned her coaching certification from the Family Sleep Institute. She started her career helping parents sleep-train their babies, but expanded her client base after noticing the toll exhaustion was taking on adults as well.

Part of her services included a home visit. Beforehand, I filled out an online form about my medical history, diet, and lifestyle habits, how often I wake up during the night (a lot), and my psychological health (which would be way better if I slept more).

Prueher arrived with bedsheets that regulate airflow and a climate-control pillow chosen for my body type and sleep position, and a large coffee. “Caffeine is OK before 2 p.m.,” said Prueher, smiling. I was quickly at ease.

2. Evaluate your sleep space.

Next, Prueher went to my bedroom, asking how the space made me feel.

“You have not created a haven for sleep and happiness,” she said. “You have family photographs all over the house—why don’t you have any here? You need to put a picture of your happy place where it will be the first thing you see every morning. The happier you are, the better you sleep.”

The khaki walls and white rug passed muster (they were not too stimulating), but Prueher spied dust on the ceiling fan. “It’s imperative to vacuum and often clean, especially if you have carpeting in your bedroom,” she said. “Dust can lessen air quality, which is important for a good night’s sleep.”

3. Learn from your mistakes.

Based on Prueher’s feedback, I learned four major lessons:

• Don’t put a clock next to your bed: Prueher walked over to my night table and picked up my alarm clock that lights up only when pressed. However, once it’s on, the numerals emit sleep-disrupting blue light. “You don’t need to know the time,” Prueher said. “Set an alarm and put it on the other side of the room. If it hasn’t gone off, it’s not time to get up.”
• Use one quality pillow: Prueher turned to my bed and saw the number of pillows. “Most people sleep with two or three pillows, but when your head is propped up that much, it tends to flop forward, blocking airflow, she said. “It can also put pressure on your shoulders and neck muscles. One good pillow is ideal.”
• Sleep on your left side: Prueher discouraged me from my habit of sleeping on my right side, noting that sleeping on your left promotes blood flow. “The blood that comes from the lower half of your body is brought to the heart by a large vein on the right side,” said Neomi Shah, M.D., a sleep expert at Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City. Sleeping on your right may compress that vein.
• No screen time in bed: Prueher saved the harshest critique for last: The large flat-screen TV across from my bed must go. “Your bed is for sex and sleep only,” she said.

4. Improve your sleep hygiene.

“People talk about sleep a lot, but they don’t really want to do anything about changing their habits,” Prueher said.

I said that I was ready to transform. She laid out some guidelines:

• Limit sugar
• Avoid heavy meals late at night
• Stop drinking caffeine after 2 p.m.
• Skip strenuous exercise after 5 p.m.
• Stick to one glass of wine with dinner
• Cut out screens within one hour of bedtime
• Write a to-do list before bed (to avoid obsessing over free-floating thoughts)

I assured Prueher I would up my cleaning game, keep the room between 68 and 72 degrees, sprinkle lavender essential oil in the diffuser she had brought, and run it all night. (As with air conditioners, any stop-and-go can disrupt sleep. So much for “energy-saving mode.”)

My Sleep Coaching Results

The first night after my coaching session, I turned on the diffuser and tried the new pillow, which was soft, cool, and supportive—a game-changer. I put a picture of my daughter on my night table, which made me smile. But I still woke up numerous times.

Three nights in, I realized I needed to get serious. So I put my iPad and phone away an hour before bed, skipped the wine and sugar, read instead of watching TV, and fell asleep at 9 p.m. Best of all, I stayed asleep for seven hours.

After a few weeks, I was sleeping better. I got into the habit of leaving my windows open (for fresh air), sprinkling lavender oil beneath my one perfect pillow, and limiting my screen time.

My Continuing Sleep Challenges

Some things I cannot change: After a lifetime of sleeping on my right side, I cannot make the switch to the left, and I have a 50-50 success rate of not checking the time if I wake up in the middle of the night.

Also, I still haven’t moved the TV. But I sit on the chaise to watch it instead of lying in bed, and I throw a blanket over the set when I’m done. One day, I will replace it with a giant picture of my happy place, but for now, at least, I am making progress.

Next Steps

• Contact a sleep coach if you feel you’d benefit from their guidance.
• Remove screens from your bedtime routine and limit caffeine after 2 p.m. to promote better sleep.
• Consult a healthcare provider if your sleep issues continue after making lifestyle changes.